The Village in Action

A few weeks ago (has it been that long already) I took both kids to the library for some much-needed, "get-out-of-the-house-before-we-all-kill-each-other" time.

I was nestled on a library couch nursing my daughter while my son happily played with a puzzle. He was happy, of course, until he spied a younger boy with some sort of magnetized puzzle that seemed to call, "come and steal me away from this young boy."

Being stuck to a chair with a baby on my, well you know, it was tough for me to stop my son from just walking right over there and taking the prize. But, he happened to glance over his shoulder to look at me on his way to steal the toy, and I was able to give him a stern glare and shake my head no, stopping him in his tracks. (I am lucky that he is a good first-born, this does not work equally well with all children).

Instead he hovered until the younger boy lost interest. About 45 seconds later the young boy dropped the toy, and my son scurried over and snatched it right up calling, "Momma, he's done with it, see?!?!?!"

Well, as soon as the younger boy saw that the toy he dropped was wanted by another, he ran back over and snatched it back from my son. I was too far away to do anything about it and my son was already crying and wailing at the injustice of it all.

Then, a by standing mother, not the mother of either of these two boys, interjected on my son's behalf. She reprimanded the younger boy, took the toy from him and gave it back to my son. Then, she proceeded to tell my son to tell the other boy thank you for giving it back, which he did. That's one tough library referee!

Now... some mothers would bristle at a third party's intervention. After all, maybe that younger boy's parents praise aggression over sharing. Or maybe manners aren't the end-all, be-all for my son.

BUT, she knew I was his mother, knew I was sitting right there, knew I had my hands and my chest full at the moment, so she stepped in.

I, for one, was very grateful. And I would have told him to say thank you for sharing too, so I didn't even mind that part.

It's a sticky topic, how far should a parent go in parenting the kids playing with or even just around your kids.

Sure, it's all right for me to keep my nieces in line, but maybe telling a two-year-old total stranger to knock it off is crossing a line in the sandbox. Unless the two-year-old in question is physically harming your child - then it's game on.

So where is YOUR line in the sandbox on this, if you have one?